To my darling baby boy, Erflet...

Born in February of 2006, you are the piece of heart I never knew I was missing until you found me. I wasn't looking for you, but you found me anyhow.

Your father and I got the official news on June 20th, 2005. You certainly surprised us...

Rolling around to late 2005, your arrival was drawing nearer and nearer. Everyone kept telling me that once you were here, I would no longer have a life of my own. They were wrong, yet oh so right at the same time. I can still go out and do things, but you own my life. My heart is within you, walking around outside my body. I never knew how complete you would make me feel.

Daddy was away a lot after you were first born, and we stuck together through it. It was you and I for some time, and we developed a bond that I don't think could ever be broken. You're my little Gorgeous (regardless of how much grandma hates that nickname), and my sidekick.

You look like your father, but there is so much of me wrapped up in you. Your personality is almost a perfect reflection of mine, all the way down to the smart-ass remarks. I recall how much it annoyed my grandma when she was raising me, so I at least know what I'm getting into as you get older. ;)

And you're such a little love... You're almost four, and you still give random hugs and kisses for no reason. You love to cuddle with Daddy and I, and you're so affectionate. You can't go to bed without a lot of hugs and kisses, or let us drop you off at daycare without the same. When I put you to bed and sit next to you stroking your face and hair, I can feel that absolute love and trust that you have in me.

And baby boy, I promise to do everything in my power to keep earning that every day.

There are times when we're watching a movie, and you'll reach over and stroke my hair or my arm, or you'll simply put your hand in mine. I just want to hug you to me and hold you forever.

And the times you tell me you love me without me telling you first make my heart fly.

There are times when you'll wake up early from your nap and we'll lay on the couch, you sprawled out on top of me with your head resting atop my heart... And you'll fall asleep listening to Mama's heartbeat. If I could bottle up those sweet baby breaths to cherish later, when you get older and you're too cool for your Mama, I would. I hope that you'll never stop your random hugs, even if you do have to wait until no one else is around.

I hope I'll be a great Mama to you in years to come, because you've been the best son I could have ever thought to ask for. I will always love you no matter what the future holds. As Daddy always describes his relationship with his mama, there are unbreakable golden chains binding us.

And when you get older, get married, and have your own babies, know that when I hold my first grandchild I'll close my eyes and remember your sweet baby breaths on my neck as you slept.

Know that every time I look at you, I have no doubt that every moment of morning sickness, every second of labor, every sleepless night, every spit-up-on shirt, was worth it. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Know that when and if you ever get a baby brother or sister, you'll always have a special place in my heart as my firstborn. Daddy and I have had some hard times, and your love for the both of us helped us to remember the love we had for one another. You've made us all stronger in our love, and you're completely irresistible.

To put it in so many and so few words, I love you baby boy... I always will.