In which I turn to you, my readers, because I'm a please-everyone whore.

Yes, I will eschew my own happiness to make everyone else happy. I have done it for quite some time and will probably continue to try and make everyone happy regardless of how many times I find myself curled in the fetal position in my shower with mascara streaks running down the drain.

I frequently do everything I can, due to some of my family members' high-maintenance personalities, to make family happy. I grew up in a fairly happy home, but nothing changed the fact that my birth mother left me when I was born - and left me feeling as if I had done something wrong.

So, from early childhood, I've felt the need for approval. To know that I'm liked. This lent itself well to my high-school years as I am a pretty likeable person who can mold her personality at a whim. It's also helped me in various jobs that most people would've found unbearable. I'm that customer service person. Yep. I'm like the real life fucking Flo from the Progressive commercials.

Except you'll never catch me in a Bumpit with bright red lipstick.

Sometimes, though, I have enough and I open my mouth. I can stand up for myself, but the people who piss me off usually have a hard time hearing the truth about themselves. And so they stop talking to me for periods of time. So you may understand why I usually keep my wide ass trap shut up tighter than Fort Knox.

And because underneath the swagger I'm still a giant pussy, I'd like to ask you for your opinions on something that developed over the weekend. I can never be sure if I've overreacted to something, so here goes...

As most of you who follow my blog know, my husband Erf recently got demoted, causing us to need to apply for assistance until he can find another full-time job. It's not something I'm proud of because I thought that this portion of our lives was behind us; but I accept that it is, for now, a necessity. And I plan on getting off of it as soon as I possibly can, because I'm not one of those deadbeat parents who lets the state pay for everything without doing their best to support themselves -

And that is not directed to those who need aid to survive; it's directed to the crackwhores who squirt out babies for welfare money -

I'm a proud person. But I'm not too proud to take help when it's needed. I pay my taxes, and you're damn straight that I've got every right to use the state aid I help pay for to help me when I need it.

However, a family friend of mine commented on my facebook status yesterday, and I - being the giant pussy I am - am wondering if there's something different you might have said/done or if you think I may have overreacted.

The only things I'm changing are the names.

My Facebook status:

Excited for steak and baked potatoes. For now, watching Erf whup some orc ass (ironically, he named his char Urukai) in Champions of Norrath. The Everquest PS2 game is pretty decent. Nice and long - which, for Erf, is good!

My family friend, who is all about the dramz, posted a comment on that status. This is our following exchange (the red is him, blue is me):

How can you afford steak and potatos when you just posted that you were applying for assistance?

You know, Dramz, that's more than a little insulting and degrading. Way to make me feel like shit about something that's out of my control.

And fyi, I bought a cheap cut at $2 per steak and marinaded it and a 5 lb bag of potatoes is like $3 - if it's any of your business. Not like I fucking bought filet mignon...

Ashley? You posted it for everyone to see and I commented. No need to get all nasty on me. You said it. NOT ME! I can barely afford a pack of hot dogs let alone a cheap ass steak. More power to you if you can get the government to pay for you to eat steak and pay for health care and day care. Our system is FUC**D!

I said that I applied for assistance - whose business is it how I purchase food? I usually eat nothing but chicken and ground turkey because it's cheaper than beef. I buy almost everything generic now.

And Erf and I are both working, so we do have some income. The government didn't pay for our steak because it hasn't given us anything yet. It's no one else's business how we spend our money but ours, but it came out of our pocket. It's not like I applied for assistance because I'm some crackwhore trying to fuck the system. I didn't enjoy doing it, and I hope to get off it as soon as I can. But Erf got demoted and got his hours docked severely - so we NEED the help. I'm doing what needs to be done to help my family. Who are you to judge me? Because you're making me sound like some worthless welfare mom who's letting the government pay for everything. I'm not. I work full time and I pay taxes, so the money I'm paying my state should help me when I need it. I make NO apologies for that.

So, what do you think? Overreaction? Or was I right to react as I did?

Also, please know that I don't routinely go around spouting off things like this - or at least, I pretend that I don't. :)

The good news is that I'm planning on reviewing my JimmyJane Massage Oil candle tomorrow! They're fabulous, and if you can get one, buy one!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming already in progress...