Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Sometimes, someone comes along.

Trite, but true. I didn't think it was really going to be possible to feel this way. I didn't think that the romantic in me would ever truly have the opportunity to break free and make me feel whimsically happy again. But it happened. It happened quickly, without warning, and in the place I least expected to find it. If you've read any of my older posts you know that I had been trying out that whole online dating scene. It was fun while it lasted and it got my itch to date out of my system. I was beginning to long for an actual relationship. One where you can reasonably expect to speak to that person every day, knowing that you both want to talk to one another. One where you miss each other when you're not together. One that makes me feel like my whole world is both crazy and upside down, but perfectly in harmony. I wasn't looking for someone to complete me, because I learned that regardless of whether I was single or not that I had to be on good terms with myself before I could reasonably expect anyone else to become involved in my life. I was happy with me. Now I wanted someone to see me and be happy with me, as well as someone for whom I could be happy. I found him. And he is wonderful. He has beautiful deep brown eyes that hold me without touching me when he looks into mine. He has hands that are strong enough to hold me, and gentle enough to caress me. He has a voice that can calm me and excite every nerve ending in my body. And he loves me. And I believe in that love. It's been almost six months since we started dating. His kisses make my world spin, and the spot on his shoulder has been claimed as mine. For the first time in my dating experience, I've felt the green monster of jealousy. I never cared for anyone as vastly as I do for him (excepting, of course, my son - but that's a different type of love). I never felt so protective of someone I loved in a romantic way. And I feel grateful that I have him to love this much. He's incredibly appreciative of everything that I do, and always makes sure I know it. There's no implied reciprocation, only a wonderful flow of give and take. We both want to make the other happy, and we don't expect anything in return excepting their gratitude. Not everything is perfect, and that's okay. Life is never perfect, and if you can't overcome small obstacles you'll never make it though the big ones. But even when we are upset with each other, we are able to communicate and talk to each other. More importantly, we listen. When we're done talking things through, we hold each other. We can never go very long without that physical reassurance of our affection. I couldn't have thought to ask for someone as well suited for me as he is. I wouldn't have known where to begin. But someone, somewhere was looking out for me the day our paths merged into one. From our senses of humor to our wonderful talks, we are compatible. His family has accepted my son and me as one of their own, and my family has done the same. I hope to have his last name someday. To carry his child, and to share those miraculous first moments of that child's life with him. To see our grandchildren. To grow old and hold hands wherever we go. I hope to never let go. It feels good to have hope again.