Thursday, March 18, 2010

Oh yeah, give me some of that Funky Cold Medina.

So, I happen to live in a city that used to be able to tout the fact that it had the highest bars per capita in the United States.


Is it really any wonder how we got our nickname, Souptown? No, not really. It's a tradition here in Superior when one turns 21 to do the bar crawl down the main drag - Tower Avenue. You want bars? We've got bars. Of all shapes, sizes and types. And we've got bars in every part of town. We've got Lost In The 50's, a bar for those who want to get lost in time. The Anchor Bar for those who want a biker bar that, frankly, makes some of the best greasy burgers in town (you know, for when you've got a hangover from drinking there the night before). The Lamplighter for those who want skanky strippers, Frankie's for those who like to sing karaoke with the coke-sniffing owner, The Main for the light-in-the-loafers crowd... Plus about 10-12 others I haven't named.

No joke. I searched for "Bar" in Superior WI, and Google Maps came back with 198 results. For a town that has around 27,000 people. Yeah, we wean toddlers on whiskey here.

Anywho, one of the most well-known bars in Superior was the Cove Cabaret. Every bar that's been in that building has closed after a short stint. Kind of like Jordan Sparks' career.

And the Cove was described a 'sleazy club' with a light-up dance floor (think Saturday Night Fever), disco ball, and Wet T-Shirt Wednesdays. There are local archived photos of couples cutting a rug on the light-up dance floor under the bright, sparkling light of the disco ball in the 1970's. Also, my mom used to participate in Wet T-Shirt Wednesdays. Is it good or bad that I'm proud of that?

Wednesday night was Ladies Night, and ladies could drink free from 11-midnight. Thursday featured $1 Imports and Wine Coolers. Classy.

Another thing (besides Wet T-Shirt Wednesday)(because DUH. Obviously) the Cove was locally famous for was Jim's All Star 101 Shooter Menu. I'm sure many a vomit-soaked floor had this shooter menu to thank.

My dad worked at the Cove, and has an original copy of the list. Let me tell you; after retyping these shots so that they're legible, if you couldn't find something you liked on this list - you were just fucked. You know, unless you're a recovering alcoholic. In that case, I'm sure you would've taken the crappiest shot on the list and loved it like Pam loved Tommy's wang.

You could order any All Star Shooter for $2.50, or a Six-Shooter for $10.

So today, kittens, I'd like to share a few of the most delicious-sounding - and some of the oddest sounding - shots on the list.

Give me a Funky Cold Medina...
Kahlua, Root Beer Schnapps and Bailey's round out this delicious sounding, albeit oddly named shot.

I'd love to have a Menage a Trois...
Kahlua, Frangelico and Grand Marnier. What's not to love about this threesome?

What shot do zombies like best? The Brain!
Strawberry Schnapps, Bailey's and Grenadine. Mmm, Bwainz!

Oh, Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree...
Grenadine, Green Creme de Menthe and Creme de Cacao. Mint, chocolate and cherry? Sounds like a festive shot to me!

Chocolate Monk? Sounds kinky!
Kahlua, Bailey's and Frangelico.

Some of the more oddly named shots include:

Camel's Hump
Kahlua, Apricot Brandy and Grand Marnier
Alabama Aggle Slammer
Sloe Gin, Southern Comfort, Amaretto and Orange Juice
Ardvark (Dudes, that's how it's spelled on the menu - I know it's misspelled)
Kahlua, Curacao and Cream
Umbilical Cord
Anisette, Tequila, Bailey's and Drop of Cream
Cognac, Coffee and Whip Cream
Red Rooster
Chocolate Mint Schnapps, Bailey's and Grand Marnier
Test Tube Baby
Amaretto, Tequila and Drop of Cream
Kahlua, Grand Marnier and Courvoisier.

Of course, for the traditionalists you'll find shots like; B-52, Stiletto, Mudslide, Asshole, Orgasm, Cocaine, Slippery Nipple, Blowjob and Kamikaze.

What does it say about our society that we like to take shots of things that are called Asshole and Test Tube Baby?


Oh, and that if I ever go out and do shots, I'm doing the Pink Pussy shot. Because, duh. Obvi.

3 dished:

Aunt Becky said...

I want a pink pussy shot!

Sassy Pie said...

I would so do a pink pussy shot with you... ;)

Id Check said...

link exchange?