Wednesday, October 28, 2009

All the pleasure, none of the stickiness...

So, last Friday I received my JimmyJane Afterglow Massage Oil candle from Toy With Me!

I was so excited that I just kept opening it to sniff it. Sort of like some sex-crazed, massage-loving bloodhound. Except with more less wrinkles.

I was slightly disappointed with one factor, however...

The bubble wrap wasn't the fun poppable kind. Except for Erf. He bunched it up and it popped. I, however, am not the caveman of the house and couldn't do it. Way to be a pussy, self.

Once I got beyond my bubblewrap disappointment, I was delighted to open the adorable box!

As you can see, we chose the Pink Lotus scent. It had a delightful floral scent; it sort of bordered as a cross between lilac and gardenia. And those are two of my favorite flowers. Lilac is my absolute favorite. Jasmine, gardenia and rose are close followers. I love the whore-scented florals. ;)

Inside the box is everything we needed to get our party started! The candle (duh!), a brush for the massage oil, and matches! And the ever so important warning that this massage oil is not for use as a lubricant. You know, like in a vagina or something. Lube your chest/back/legs/earlobes/toes/knees/elbows away, kittens!

It's very pretty to look at, with it's frosted glass container.

And the brush was nice and soft.

Now, on to the nitty-gritty!

We put Erflet to bed, and we set up a pseudobed in the living room (because I didn't want to have to wash the sheets we just put on the day before). We lit the JimmyJane candle, and pulled out some other candles for ambiance. Erf, like the girl he is, appreciated my efforts at romance.

Or it may have been that he enjoyed the blowjob.

We waited for the candle to melt out to the edges as the guide directs you to do (hence the blowjob - I had to do something to kill time). It took about 45 minutes to an hour, not the 30 minutes they say it will. That? It's my only complaint!

Then, Erf laid on his tummy (he was a spoiled boy that night, I tell ya) and got the first massage. I painted his back for a bit with the brush and then re-lit the candle so it could melt more and be warm for my massage. I gave him a good half hour massage before begging finger cramps... The oil stayed nice and slick and it made my hands super-soft. It had a lovely scent, and it wasn't too overbearing.

So I flopped down after toweling off my hands and Erf's back, and Erf went to work on me. The oil was the perfect temperature, just warm enough to feel, but not too warm. It didn't feel slimy, it had a pleasant slip to it. It did make funny squish noises, though. ;)

I thoroughly enjoyed it, and can't wait to use it again. This experience was, for us, more so about the romance and reconnection and pampering than sex.

But seriously? I can't wait to use it for sex!

Also, there will be more food porn for you all tomorrow! I'm making peanut butter cookies with peanut butter chips, milk chocolate strawberry cookies, and mini apple pies.

Excited? You bet your bitch asses you best be excited!

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