"Hello, I'm calling to procure a hasty abortion. Hold on, I'm calling on my hamburger phone."

Hello, fair Intarweb land!

I apologize for not updating on Friday - cause I totally would have - but my computer at work is being a severe dickhead. I don't know what's wrong with it, and I'm not techie-smart enough to fix the damn thing. However, I don't know if it's luck of the draw or not all in my head, but switching from Firefox back to Internet Explorer seems to have allowed me to get on the internet without freezing. Perhaps I'll download Google Chrome.

Anywho, you don't really care, do you my dear Intarweb? You're yawning and drooling and thinking to yourself, "Why the hell doesn't she just get on with being all witty and clever?"

So, onto the rants.

Hubby and I have been together for seven years. Matter of fact, we joined hands in the world of wedded bliss on our seven-year anniversary. It was also the five year anniversary of our engagement. We, like any other couple, have had our fair share of ups and downs... Sometimes it feels like more downs than ups. The important things about these tidbitlets of fact are that we didn't get hitched right away. We had started planning a wedding about four years back, then all hell broke loose in our relationship. It took us a good two and a half years to work our shit out. Add into the world of our stressed out relationship the birth of our son; having a child is stressful in a healthy, steady relationship. I sometimes wonder how we survived. But somehow, out of the dark and gloom that would rival Snow White's nightmare forest, we pulled together. Now, fair Intarweb, that's not to say that we never have disagreements (true fights are very rare - I'd say we've had maybe two in the seven years we've been together), but the point, precious Intarwebs -

And I do have one

- is that we waited. We talked out the marriage planning, and decided that the time was finally right. We married because we WANTED (notice the caps lock, that means I'm emphasizing the seriousness) to; not because we felt compelled to. Yep, we had a baby together. Yep, most people would view that as a sign that "It's Time" to get married. We resisted. We both knew the other wasn't going anywhere, and we waited. I've been seeing a lot of old classmates around my age who got married because they thought it was just the next step - something they were supposed to do, like they were following some life recipe. That's not to say, of course, that these couples don't love each other. I'm sure they do. But that doesn't mean that you HAVE (caps lock again, people) to get married. Marriage is Teh Sewious. It's not a goal line, it's just being handed the football. You have to work toward the goal AFTER you get the football. And you'll get tackled, and you'll fumble, and whatever other bad shit happens in basketball (Kidding, people. Kidding. Maybe.).

I frequently see some of these couples complaining that they hate their spouses, that they're unhappy... Well, it's because you married because you thought you were supposed to, or because you wanted a wedding. People need to stop getting married to have weddings. Honestly. I do know some couples who got married for the marriage and seem very happy. And I wish all the couples happiness and a long marriage if that's what they're meant to have.

My second irritation of the day happens to be about something even more (GASP) controversial.

I stopped by my mom's work today to pick up a check from a cake I did for them last week. They work down the block from the only clinic in town that happens to do abortions. Now, I'm pro-choice, but I don't think it's a decision to be made lightly. I can understand why other people are pro-life, and I think that they have a right to protest, just the same as I have the right to procure a hasty abortion if I so choose. Not that I've ever had an abortion, but if I wanted one, I'm glad to have that option available.

The problem, sweet Intarwebs, are when protesters parade around with mutilated aborted fetus posters, flashing them at all who pass by (on a fairly busy street in the downtown area, I might add). I can understand their scare tactic, even if I think it's rude and uncouth. But they don't know who is in each car that passes by. There are children that could see that. And I firmly believe that mutilated fetuses are not something children should see. Why in the hell don't they just show them to women entering the clinic? Why do they need to flash the goddamn posters at all? They're sick and disgusting. You don't show them flashing posters of dead soldiers when they protest war. At least, I haven't seem them do that.

I really want to walk up to them and bitch slap them back to reality. However, working for a criminal defense attorney has intensified my respect for the law. Also, I have a pretty mouth and I'm pretty sure I'd become Brunhilda's Bitch if I ever had to serve time. I may be a tall Amazonian, but I can't really fight for shit.

So maybe one day I'll walk up to them and engage their narrow minds, but for now I'm just going to bitch about it here. Because I'm sure that debating with them would have made me late for work.