Friday, September 4, 2009

Ah, sugar-coated heavenly bits of lovin'...

My fair Intarwebs…

I would like to apologize to you all for the really stupid bitter panties I had on yesterday. If it’s any consolation to you all, they really chafed and I got a rash. Or maybe it’s an STD. We’ll let the gynie figure that one out.

So to make up for my doom and gloom post about my hatred of the improper use of 99 Red Balloons and Watchmen, I’m going to post about something delightfully absurd and happy.


Yes, that’s right. Manufactured by Just Born, those delectable fluffs of animal-shaped marshmallows coated with sugar and accented by odd, waxy-ish eyes and sometimes noses. Peeps.

Peeps make me unbelievably happy most of the time. My favorites are the pink and blue bunnies you get around Easter. Of course, I’m also addicted to Cadbury Cream Eggs, but that’s a whole other love letter altogether. I used to work at a credit union branch that was in a supermarket. They had good sales on Peeps, and they always had the bunnies in one of my favorite colors. I would go through a box a day at work and I’d be soooo sugar high. I really annoyed my poor co-worker Sarah. She still talks to me, so I think we’re good.

I am a sugar freak. It’s hard to find something too sweet for me; if I’ve got a sweet tooth craving and there’s nothing sweet to be found, I’ll down a few spoonfuls of powdered sugar or hot cocoa mix. Yes, I know how gross this seems to other people. I just don’t really care.

Now, I used to be very Peep-discriminatory. I used to only eat Peeps at Easter, because I didn’t want to give up my beloved pink bunnies. However, in the last year or so, I’ve begun to branch out and explore new Peep territories. You can even buy Peeps year-round at the Just Born Online Store. They have cases of 4 count pink bunnies... It's only $4.95 for 96 bunnies... Hehehe.

For example, I’ve discovered that I love Love LOVE the strawberry crème heart Peeps. Yay for Valentine’s day! They have a delightful strawberry flavor, and they’re fucking pink. What more could a girl (whose favorite fruit is strawberry, by the way) want? It’s like biting into a pink strawberry cloud of heaven.

They have peeps for just about every holiday now. Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Easter. They just need to cover the 4th of July with some red, white and blue Peeps and pop out some turkey and cornucopia shaped Peeps for Thanksgiving. Fuckin’ sweet, right?

I bought some ghost Peeps yesterday. I was having an obviously bad day, and I had to go home and bake a cake. But first, I needed to go up to Michael’s to get a cake box. It took me ½ an hour to get there. It should have only taken half that. Stupid traffic.

Ouch, damn it. Ok. How did those bitter panties slip on again? Back to your regularly scheduled brainless sugar-coated marshmallow delight.

I was standing in line to pay for my $1.48 box, (ha, dirty – my box actually doesn’t fetch that much on the street) and they had a small stand of Halloween candy strategically placed by the registers. So all the fat women with their 500 skeins of yarn going home to knit sweaters for their 794 cats can get their sugar high on with some Reese’s pumpkins.

I circled like the sugar buzzard I am, seeking my prey. Aha, the ghost Peeps. They’re white, so they won’t turn my tongue colors like the pumpkin ones might. So my toddler can’t get jealous that mommy was eating colored sugar. Cause he’d do that.

I’m not gonna lie to you, fair Intarwebs. I ate the whole box before I got to Walmart. And it was delish. It did perk me up a bit. Eased the chafing of the bitter panties. :)

Some fun facts about Peeps!

* Just Born produces enough PEEPS® Brand Marshmallow Candies in one year to circle the Earth twice.

* It takes six minutes to create one PEEPS® chick.

* PEEPS® has been the #1 non-chocolate Easter candy in the U.S. for more than a decade.

* PEEPS® chicks for Easter come in 6 festive colors--yellow, pink, lavender, blue, green, and red.

* New for Easter 2008 are PEEPS® Yellow Tulips, delivering the first new Spring shape since the1950s.

* Yellow is America’s best selling color of PEEPS® chicks and bunnies.

Now if you’ll all excuse me, I need to go get some ointment for this rash. Wow, I wonder if it’s supposed to be oozing like that. Hrm…

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