Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Humanity isn't it's own worst enemy; E-Coli is.

It's in meat, eggs, spinach... And now, E-Coli has claimed another Weapon Of Mass Destruction.

Cookie Dough.

Seriously, Nestle had to recall $30-50 million dollar's worth of contaminated cookie dough. Here is the Washington Post story... I feel terrible for those people. However, I do not get the allure of raw cookie dough. Or spinach. So I'm safe until E-Coli begins to develop in Kit-Kat bars or ice cream sandwiches.

Now, fair Intarwebs. I have a question for you all.

My parking ramp requires me to park on the roof, and the parking up there isn't assigned. It's sort of first-come, first-served. Most of my fellow parking-mates are courteous, parking mostly in alignment with the pretty (shitty) yellow lines.

Except this motherfucker.

I'm not even kidding when I tell you that this is how the uber-mega douche parks EVERY MOTHERCOCKING DAY.

My question to you, my little pretties:

Should I write them a note about their parking habit? It seriously only takes an extra 5-10 seconds to back out and Correct Your Crooked Parking. This person regularly takes up half the parking space to their right (as illustrated above) throwing off the whole parking lot or causing us to sacrifice a parking spot to their idiocy.

I'm not even joking when I tell you that sometimes I really wanna smash in their windows. I never would, but I feel fits of extreme violence when I see their vehicle parked this way.

And I can't go to jail; I've got a purty mouth.

5 dished:

Dixie said...

My ex's grandfather had pre-printed cards with a rather witty saying on them to be used in occassions like this. Fortunately for you, his brother for some odd reason put them in his facebook 'about me' section and is network public, thereby allowing me to share it with you here:

If it were within my power, you would receive two parking tickets. Because of your bull-headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20-mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat, and a safari of pygmies from the African interior. Wishing you four flats and an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.). Also, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
With My Compliments,
The Kind and Courteous Driver Next to You...

Sassy Pie said...

I do like it. If I were to leave a note on the above-entitled douchebag's windshield (because they are always still there when I leave at 4:00), I would construct it carefully and make sure it was at the height of wit and disdain. :)

However, the question still stands... Do I put something on their car? How annoyed would it make you?

Aunt Becky said...

I think that whomever drives that car will be as douchey with or without a note. Seriously.

What a dillhole.

Susan said...

I am passive aggressive my note would say...
"To the sir or lady that drives this car I am honored to tell you that your ability to park in a perfect sideways tilt is simply remarkable, how you can park in such a way without regard to other people- can you teach me this amazing parking skill."

Sassy Pie said...

Haha, I love it!

"I have been studying the art of parking at a 45 degree angle. You seem to be a Master of said parking talent. Could you teach me, oh sensei?"