Thursday, September 10, 2009

I have odd taste in men. But not in shoes.

Some of my oddest celebrity crushes include:

Anthony Hopkins: Because he was Hannibal fucking Lecter. And have you ever seen that movie with him and Alec Baldwin? I think it was called The Wild. He just has this incredibly attractive intelligence and demeanor about him. For cripes sake, he was knighted. I just want to have sex with his intelligence. I really, really do.

Donald Sutherland: Because he is just a gorgeous older man. I think he's incredibly attractive and well-kempt for an elderly gentleman. And he's Keifer's dad; Kiefer is hot. He got it from his dad. Kiefer is going to look like his father when he gets older, too. Have you ever seen Dirty Sexy Money? Enough fucking said.

Those are probably my oddest old guy celeb crushes. Oh, and Steven Tyler. I'd fuck him just to say that I fucked Steven Tyler.

I also have (semi) normal celebrity crushes. Will Smith (because the curve of his ass could solve all the problems of the world - he is probably the most beautiful man I've ever seen), Bruce Willis (he's still hot and sexy - and if you pause Pulp Fiction just right, you can see that he's pretty decently hung. Keep in mind, it looked flaccid, so it had way more potential), Gerard Butler (dude, he can fucking sing. I'm super sad that he no longer wants to do rom-coms), Clark Gable (I know, I know - he's dead, but he was one hot mofo)...

Oh, and Daniel Craig's eyes. I don't think Daniel Craig is really all that attractive, but he is a superhero. And his power is his eyes - when he unleashes their power, you have an uncontrollable urge to bang him harder than a head when Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is playing.

Because I think it's against the law to NOT headbang during Bohemian Rhapsody.

So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to diiiie? Oooohhhhh baby! Don't do this to me baby! Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of he-ah.

Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening... Galileo.

Bah, I need to stop 'singing' Bohemian Rhapsody. I recall going to Wayne's World with my aunt when it was in theatres. It was wicked cool. Asphincter says what? Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different. I also recall watching the VHS with her one time and actually spitting in her face. I was wicked awesome even back then. It's like god gave me an extra awesome chip.

Oh, and psst... Please don't forget to vote for me at Aunt Becky's blog! It's super easy and requires NO REGISTRATION!! Who doesn't love it when she's easy? Oops, I meant when she makes things easy. Besides herself. Dirty girl.

I'm Number 15: A foursome with Ben AND Jerry! How awesome is that?!

I'm currently tied for 7th place, I need some bumps up! C'mon, guys! Help a bitch out, don't leave me to diiiieee!!! Ooooooh babies! Don't do this to me babies! (C'mon, I like Queen. Isn't that enough?)

4 dished:

OohLawLaw said...

Daniel Craig's eyes are gorgeous. I have an autographed picture of him on my credenza. And don't feel bad, I think Donald Sutherland is gorgeous, and I still love Emilio Estevez (give or take 20 years).

Sassy Pie said...

Haha. I know you share in my love of Donald. Seriously though, we watched The Spiderwick Chronicles with the little guy the other night and Andrew McCarthy was in it. And it re-stoked the flame I had for him in Pretty In Pink. :) Yay for crushing on guys from the early 90's!

"Emilio Etevez! The Mighty Duck-man! I swear to god! I was like, 'Emilioooo!'"

5 points if you can name the movie that's from.

The Other Evan said...

That would be Night at the Roxbury.

Sassy Pie said...

Five points to you, Evan!